“I don't want my guests to feel pressured to buy an expensive gift and outfit for my wedding”
As purveyors of the highest quality marquees, we provide marquee hire services for some of the most high end luxury weddings and events in the UK and beyond. As such, the above dilemma is one we hear often. Research suggests the average cost of attending a wedding can be as much as £1,045 in the UK. It’s no surprise then that affluent couples want to avoid putting pressure on their guests to spend big on gifts and new outfits for their luxury marquee weddings.
Many betrothed couples want to treat their friends and family to a beautiful day of unique experiences, celebrations and making memories and they’ll spare no expense to achieve this. But attending a wedding can cost a lot too. In this edition of Under the Canopy, we’re going to deep dive into how you can minimise costs for guests and make sure they don’t feel under pressure to splurge on gifts and garms, all without sacrificing any of the opulence of your luxury marquee wedding.
Eight simple ways to reduce costs for your wedding guests
Choose a venue with affordable accommodation nearby, so guests have a choice
A major plus of having a marquee wedding is the flexibility to hold your wedding wherever you like (within reason, you can’t exactly plonk it on Hyde Park Corner for instance)
A pole and canvas marquee also lends itself perfectly to the festival wedding theme and you can save guests their accommodation costs by choosing a site with glamping options
Lay on transport
If you've chosen to hold your luxury marquee wedding on a country estate 10km from the nearest village, you could be landing guests with some heavy peak time taxi fees. Vintage Routemasters or revamped school buses offer just the right level of quirkiness to complement your traditional marquee
Make stag and hen attendance optional
Nowadays most stag and hen parties happen abroad and can seriously ramp up the overall wedding cost for the bridal party. Make sure guests know that these events are optional, you can always host a more low key instalment closer to home for those who can’t make the main event
Go for a casual dress code
A more informal dress code is totally in keeping with the quiet luxury trend that is still dominating the wedding world. Think cocktail dresses and suit separates over evening gowns and DJs. Relaxed attire goes perfectly with laid back marquee vibes
Get the drinks in
You’ll have already treated guests to fizz and cocktails, but putting some money behind the bar for after dinner drinks is a nice touch and keeps everyone well oiled to dance the night away
Set up a gift list
Even if you specifically say no gifts on your invitation, people will still recoil at the idea of turning up empty handed. One approach is to use a gift registry with a range of affordable options and allow for gift pooling, which means people can go in together on the more pricey items
Another approach is to ask people to contribute their talents to the wedding planning. If you’ve got a graphic designer friend ask them to design the invitations or get the baker in the family to take on the cake for example
Provide children's entertainment and a creche
If you have a no kids rule that means your guests are also having to pay childcare, this can be particularly problematic if you’re having a destination wedding. Providing a creche and plenty to keep the little ones occupied lets parents relax without having to fork out for babysitters.
Keep the second day celebrations relaxed
If you’re having a wedding weekend, keep the satellite events informal so people can easily opt out if they have to
Photo credit - Kate Lowe Photography
How to make sure your guests don’t feel under pressure to spend big bucks on attending your luxury marquee wedding
Communication is key
Openly and honestly convey your intentions and preferences to your guests through your wedding invitations, wedding websites, and personal conversations.
In the invitation itself, consider including a heartfelt message expressing that the presence of loved ones is the best gift of all and what truly matters. A simple yet sincere message can go a long way in setting the tone for the celebration.
On your wedding website, you can provide additional details and guidance for guests. This could include wardrobe suggestions that align with the wedding theme and level of formality, as well as gentle nudges to put comfort and personal style first.
Encourage inclusivity
Take proactive steps to promote inclusivity and alleviate any potential pressure on your guests. As well as offering a range of options on your gift list so guests can select a present that feels meaningful and affordable to them, explore other ways for guests to contribute such as offering their time and talents by helping with wedding preparations or providing emotional support during the planning process. By emphasising the importance of personal connections and gestures of kindness, you can reinforce the idea that gifts are just one expression of love and support.
Create a welcoming atmosphere at your luxury marquee wedding
Ultimately, the goal of any wedding, regardless of its scale or extravagance, is to create a warm and welcoming atmosphere where guests feel valued and appreciated. You can achieve this by focusing on the overall experience. Consider incorporating personalised touches throughout the wedding, such as handwritten notes, meaningful rituals or heartfelt speeches, to convey gratitude and appreciation to guests. Small gestures can have a big impact and help guests feel connected to you as a couple and your celebration.
What’s the spend etiquette for destination weddings?
Destination weddings are becoming increasingly popular. According to Research and Markets’ 2023 Destination Wedding Global Market Report, the destination wedding industry brought in $7 billion more in 2023 than it did in 2022, growing from $21 billion last year to $28 billion this year. The report forecasts that by 2027, the industry will be worth more than $78 billion.
But when it comes down to who should be paying for the costs, 56% of people say it’s in poor taste for a couple to plan a ceremony where guests incur all travel expenses to attend.
If you’re planning a destination wedding you will need to be realistic and accept that even some of your closest friends and family might not be able to attend if they’ll incur travel expenses. If you can assist with the costs, do. Also be sure to give guests enough notice so that they can make travel plans and take off time for work, as well as find childcare if necessary. It's also important to understand that not everyone may be able to attend for logistical as well as budget reasons.
Break the rules
While we’re not advising you to base all your wedding planning decisions around your guest’s needs and budgets, you don’t want to risk having your invitation declined because a guest is worried about not being able to afford an impressive enough gift. Most will be more than happy to splurge on your big day but for some it might be a problem. A recent survey by Klarna found that one third (36.4%) of those surveyed said they had declined wedding invitations in the past due to associated costs.
Old rules like ‘cover your plate’, that says gifts should be greater than or equal to the amount the couple have spent on each guest, can put guests under serious financial strain. Especially if they’ve paid for travel and accommodation. It’s time to replace those outdated rules with honest communication, inclusivity and personal connections to make sure your luxury wedding isn't a luxury your favourite people simply cant afford.